Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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