wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I want a musical about memes.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
