I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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