They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize