So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
