All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
