i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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