So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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