I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize