He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I need water and some morals
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize