with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
