just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
