She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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