ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
A+ Viking dick
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
