North Korea, Best Korea!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
