dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize