no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
