Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
