party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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