God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
