arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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