so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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