I hate all girls vehemently.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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