NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize