Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
