i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
