from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
