thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
