Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
