This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
