Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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