I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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