Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize