i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
