a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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