I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
