My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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