Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
