i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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