Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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