SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
