He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
