whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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