Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
