none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
