stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
