either way he was missing a nipple.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
