He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
