I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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