the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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