there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
