OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
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