I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
are you so shy because you have an std?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Couch. On fire.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
