The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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