ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
