Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
