his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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