dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
