frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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