I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
