They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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