I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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