Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
As shirtless as possible
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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