You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
