I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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